Breaking News: Terry Shiavo seized as an enemy combatant

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Attorney General" Alberto Gonzales announced that early this morning FBI agents
had raided a Florida Hospice and taken Terri Schiavo into custody.
Mr Gonzales said the action was taken under after "specific and credible"
intelligence was received that led to the designation of Ms. Schiavo as an enemy
combatant.
Gonzales strongly denied any suggestions that this action was in
any way related to the current effort by the Republicans to override 20 US
State and Federal Courts, who have all ruled against the re-insertion of Terri
Schiavo's feeding tube. He did note however that, its the adminstration's
position The
Courts have no rights to review challenges to the designation of or detention of
enemy combatants .
When it was pointed out that the Supreme court
had rejected that argument, Gonzales also pointed out that He's already
stated his position that the president is free to disobey the law so
he saw no problems.
He referred the Reporters to Scott McClellan for
additional comment

At the mid-day Gaggle Scott McClellan answered further questions from reporters:

MCCLELLAN: Thank you. I have a brief opening statement about the
president's actions today then I will take questions. As you know the
president today designated Terri Schiavo as an enemy combatant and ordered
federal agents to take her into custody. The president acted on specific
and credible intelligence that Ms Schiavo was actively involved in plots to
attack U.S. Targets and assets domestically and overseas. The president
has resolutely stated his commitment to keeping America secure, and his actions
today again demonstrate that commitment.

Q: Scott how could Terri Schiavo
possibly constitute a threat to the United States? She's been in a persistent
vegetative state for almost 15 years?

MCLELLAN: I would point out to you that several eminent doctors, the President's own brother and TV Psychic John Edwards have all disputed the diagnosis of a persistent vegetative state for Terri Schiavo

Q: okay assuming for the sake of argument she's in a
"minimally conscious " state how can _

MCLELLAN: as I've told you repeatedly I will not answer hypothetical questions or engage in debate of possibilities.

Q: Okay Scott, given the FACT that Terri Schiavo has been confined to a
hospital bed for the last fifteen years under constant medical supervision,
how could Terri Schiavo participate in an Al-Qaida Plot?

MCLELLAN: You have to understand that we are no longer dealing with conventional threats. The enemy's tactics are constantly changing, and it's a race to
keep up with their methods. Sure, before 9/11 we could afford to treat
this as a law enforcement matter and wait for the results of brain scans or
swallowing reflex tests. But we are dealing with a new world and new
threats and the president cannot afford not to act when US interests are
threatened. He is a strong resolute leader who takes decisive action

Q: But Scott, you have to admit it seems strange that Muslim
extremists would recruit a comatose Catholic girl from Florida

MCLELLAN: I'm
not here to debate the tactics employed by the enemies of America. We
received specific and credible intelligence and we acted on it.

Q: can you describe this evidence?

MCLELLAN: I have here for distribution a copy
of our response to Michael Schiavo's petition for habeas corpus in federal
court, we have filed a reply brief stating the basis for our action
unfortunately, as you might expect The
evidence is secret, and thus all the pages of this pleading are blank

Q: Scott how can you expect us to believe that this is anything but end-run
around the courts in an effort to appease evangelical supporters of the
president?

MCLELLAN: Well I have to say I'm personally offended at your
suggestion that the president would play politics with a matter of national
security. He is also extremely distressed at decision of Minority leader
Reid to play partisan poltics with a matter of such grave importance by
calling for an investigation into this matter. It just goes to show why
most of the country does not trust the Democrats to keep America safe from the
very real threats posed in this Post 9-11 world

Q: Scott we've just heard a
rumor that due to a paperwork mix up Terry Schiavo has been subject to
"extraordinary rendition" and was deported to Uzbekistan, care to comment?
MCLELLAN: Well look I think we've ..um.. said everything
there is to say on this matter. Next Subject. Yes, Mr. Gannon,
do you have a question?